uh-pif-an-ee

I am in a constant phase of change. I have never been the same person for a very long time. Maybe today I'm a catty, talkative, mean-spirited bitch. Tomorrow I might be the nicest, most sincere person you've ever met. But maybe that's not what I'm talking about.

In my life, I have been a lot of things. I have been a;; child, sister, friend, care-giver, lover, fighter, self-mutilater, binger, purger, hippie, indie, rock, emo, goth, fake bitch, real person, slacker, succeeder, awful speller, story teller, writer, artist, musician, manager, supervisor, cashier, waitress, make-up artist, sales-person, housekeeper, homebody, bum, homeless person, lesbian, bisexual, lesbian, lesbian, lesbian, straight, bisexual, lesbian, lesbian, girlfriend, dumper, dump-ee, maniac, highschool student, college hopeful, and/or all of the above. Not in that order, but still. And that's not even half of it. And I'm only eighteen.

Someday, I want to be;; a wife (because I refuse to call them partners), a mother, a social worker, a friend, a homemaker, a home owner, a taxi driver, a city slicker, a country bumpkin, in italy, in france, in germany, in new zealand, in austrailia, ontop of the world, in space, and/or my own person.

I guess I'm having the opposite of an identity crisis. I think I've finally figured out that I am all of the things that I want to be, and if I'm not, I can always change them. I am constantly in a changing phase. I never stay the same. Nor will I ever. I cant say I know the value of life, because only the dead really know that.

All I know is, when my life is flashing before my eyes, I want it to be worth watching.

Thank you, and goodnight.