purge.

I heard a song about a car crash and I felt like crying. In six days it will be the one year anniversary of the day my grandfather died of multiple organ failure.

It has almost been one whole year. Without the glue that held our family together. And we're all still standing upright. Sort of.

In a few more days, it will been one year since my grandmother died. And in April it will be one year since Chris DiPofi died.

I cant believe it. Sometimes, when I think about it, the pain is so fresh in my mind that it feels like it was a few days ago. A month ago. But never a year. I wonder if that ever starts to go away.

I forgot to tell YOU this yesterday, but my aunt and uncle came in to work and my aunt offered me the spare room in their house to live in. I'm pretty excited, because my uncle is probably the coolest guy in the world.

Somedays, I forget which end is up. I wonder if I'm okay, and this is just a down time, or if maybe I'm standing in that train station again, watching as everyone I know and love is whizzing by me on some fast moving train. And I'm just... standing there, glued to my spot, watching them.

Maybe I think too much.